Same-sex Marriage: A super gay blog post.

Love is love.
Love is lovely.
It is lovely to love and to be in love.

A key element within a loving relationship is respect, something we are taught from infancy. We are taught to respect our elders, we are taught to respect our parents, we are taught to respect those that are in power. I still find it astonishing how seldom it is that people respect their fellow man.
We are living in an age where awareness of same sex love and the arguments for same sex marriage are being brought forth. Same-sex marriage is already legal in several countries, progress is being made.    


With same-sex marriage currently being discussed by the powers that be I wanted to discuss why same sex married should be legal in the UK whilst discussing various viewpoints that have been given from those who would oppose gay marriage. First of all I would like to state my reasons for supporting same sex marriage. Firstly, it is because it is love. Love cannot be valued or measured against each other and therefore heterosexual love, same sex love - they're not comparable. It's all beautiful and worthy of celebration. Secondly, because I myself have a wonderful partner who happens to share a gender with me. She is someone I adore and would be lucky to marry. I just hope that I don't have to move to another country to have to declare such love.
 
Now let's think about the main reasons given against same sex marriage.

"Same sex marriage will destroy the sanctity of marriage"
A point of view that goes without evidence, especially since same sex marriage is now legal in several countries. It will ruin nothing. If you can honestly think of any way in which same sex marriage will have an impact on your own marriage, do tell me. Do you know what really ruins the sanctity of marriage? Divorce. Divorce was something that literally severs, thus ruining, the sanctity of marriage and that has been legal for some time now. Marriage, in that instance, was rewritten and has become part of our society.

"Same sex marriage will redefine marriage"
The fact that rapists cannot force their victims to marry them, the fact we've created and carry out divorce and the fact that you can divorce and marry as many people as you want regardless of gender in most societies means we've already redefined marriage. It's an evolving institution to match an evolving society. Keep up.




"But marriage is about children, and gays can't have children"
Oh well, I guess you have us there... NOT.
Heterosexual marriage is not about having children otherwise the preparations for marriage would require intrusive fertility tests and since no one has their virility or reproductive organs examined prior to every marriage we can safely say this is not so. Also with our overpopulated world do we really have to be so concerned with the creation of more children? What we need is loving households open to adopting children. I'm just saying, us gays are a good market for that. There's nothing in the traditional marriage vows that says "I promise to fill you full of babies/squish out all your babies" so this argument, my friends, is pointless. One of my closest friends was married most of her life and her and her husband entered the marriage never planning to have children and for the time that they were married the marriage served the expected purpose, unhindered by the imagined requirement to childbearing. Some people just don't want to have children. Similarly some people cannot have children, and these people are still given the right to a common law, heterosexual marriage.

"But it says in the Bible tha-"
Don't force your religious views on me

"It's a sin"
Don't force your religious views on me

"Bible says marriage is one man and one woman"
Don't force your religions views on me

"You'll go to Hell"Don't force your religious views on me

Seriously. Without any desire to offend, pushing your religious views or lack of religious views on others is wrong. This is where the lack of respect is a real issue. You have to respect the religious rights of other people as well as their sexual and romantic rights. If you want to follow a religion/religious teaching, avoid 'sin' and Hell then do so, but also respect that others hold different views and should be allowed to live their lives in such a way.

"I just don't like it"
Oh yeah? I don't like it when people tell restrict my rights because of their own views an anxieties. Deal with it and move on.

Marriage is about committing yourself to someone and having certain benefits because of that love. Marriage is an institution that is forever evolving.


Using the argument that 'marriage is between a man and a woman' seems the stupidest argument.
Yes, we know that's the way marriage is currently. That's what we're trying to change. We're trying to make marriage more inclusive. Thank you for pointing out the obvious, good sir.

Marriage has been redefined. Marriage has changed. Marriage is changing. You can deny it now but it's only a matter of time. Many studies have shown that most people under the age of 25 are pro-gay marriage which helps me believe that if gay marriage were to go to public vote it would at least happen eventually. I hail from a generation that understands tolerance, practices acceptance and celebrates difference. In this particular celebration of 'difference' we need the outcome to be something 'same'. Allowing for same sex marriage won't harm anyone or threaten any values. All it will mean is that more people can get married. People that are already dating, co-parenting, loving each other. I for one can't wait for that day.

I am blessed to have a partner who will care for me when I'm ill, travel to me when we're apart, make me feel better when I'm down. Even before we were dating when I once injured my ankle and couldn't walk on it, she rushed from the other town to help walk me to the hospital. Before we were even dating when I was crammed into a boiling hot gym to do my theatre studies exam, sweating and without a beverage, she was waiting outside with a bottle of Diet Coke having thought I might be thirsty. She was the one who celebrated with me when I got into university. She was the one who held my heart when I went through break ups with other people. She was the one who cared for me during horrible panic attacks. I am so blessed to have found someone who is utterly selfless, caring and endlessly loving. I would be privileged to join my life with hers on paper.

If we can't get married we then lose out on so many of the legal rights that come with marriage.
If she were in hospital I wouldn't be able to visit her and stay by her side. If we had children there would be speculation and debate over our parentage, if one of us died the other partner may not even be considered a 'legal guardian'
We'd not be able to have spousal any say in funeral arrangements.

This would deem our relationship inferior to that of another couple, regardless of their love for each other or commitment, because there isn't a penis within this relationship and that, I feel, is wrong. As a society we need to attempt to deconstruct and re-evaluate our pre-conceived notions about marriage to become more inclusive and to accept same-sex marriage. As I have said it harms no one. Adhering to the idea of a 'traditional marriage' marginalizes many. The perpetuation of heterosexist attitudes and the ongoing denial of same-sex marriage stigmatises gay and lesbian couples and their relationships. We cannot continue to treat such couples as 'Other' or 'alternative' and solely consider heteronormative domesticity between a heterosexual marriage as the only form of marriage that is 'right'

Same sex relationships are going to happen.
Love is going to happen.
As couples these people need the rights that come with marriage, the rights that have been solely constructed around heterosexual marriage. It is time for love, regardless of gender, to be included. If you don't agree with gay marriage, then don't marry someone of your gender.



If you still oppose the notion of gay marriage then I hate to say it but ... how is it any of your business what other people want to do and how they choose to live their lives? What is it to you anyway?