Hello!

Hello Readers,

Since my wedding, I've not really posted much here. I wanted to say that I've been working on a full write up of my wedding day, with all the little details, so that I can capture all the memories. I'm looking to publish it once we get our wedding photos back because it takes a billion years to get your wedding photos nowadays. Once I've got photos that I can integrate into the blog post, I'll finish it up and post the full thing. So far I've only written up to the end of the ceremony and she's one looooong blog post. I have, however, just posted the playlist we used for our wedding breakfast and shortly I will post our evening wedding playlist.

In the meantime, how cute is this photo? Hannah and I, smooching away.
From left to right: Han's Best Man Jason, my Maid of Honour Bethany, me, Hannah, then bridesman Jamie and bridesmaid Julia. Those are some very important people.

Our Wedding Breakfast Playlist...

 So movies have always been important for Hannah and I throughout our lives and our relationship. When we started dating, we would go on cinema dates together and sneak in whisky to drink in the back row. I spent years working in a cinema, where I would cover late shifts and Hannah would greet me when I came home after midnight. We curl up and watch films together in our home with our various pets. We decided that we wanted to incorporate our love of film in our big day therefore I put together a wedding breakfast playlist predominantly utilising songs from movies (or covers of songs from movies on piano where the original song might be a bit cheesy or not fit the mood)

I thought this would be fun because it would also act as an ice breaker. People would stop and say "Oh, what is this song? It's from a movie... Oh Gosh, from where do I know this song?" and we thought it'd prompt people into conversation.

We walked into the dining hall to the opening theme from the Buffy The Vampire Slayer musical episode, Once More With Feeling. If anyone from my wedding party recognised this song, you are awesome. It was immediately followed by a strings and piano version of I Giorni which we had walked down the aisle to at the start of our ceremony. The playlist features songs from films and TV shows that Hannah and I have both watched and enjoyed together. In the playlist there are songs from films like Amelie, The Princess Bride, The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Pearl Harbour, Gladiator, The Lion King, The Great Gatsby, Brokeback Mountain, Game of Thrones (although I almost put in music from The Red Wedding episode and promptly removed it - that would've felt like a bad omen!), Edward Scissorhands, Down With Love, About Time, Stranger Things, The Book of Life, Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence, Big Fish and The Phantom of the Opera to name a few...  

We even snuck in a few songs from The Sims just to see if anyone of our age range noticed!
The majority of the songs chosen were instrumental only and had to fit the vibe of the day (nothing too dramatic or intense!) and we spent ages putting this playlist together and I treasure it fondly. I have some great pictures of my bridesmaids jamming out to the music.

Please find our wedding breakfast playlist below:

She Keeps Me Warm

....Aaaand for my third scheduled post of the day, please find the song we'll be doing our first dance to some time around the time this post goes up. As soon as we heard this song, we knew it was the one for our first dance on our wedding day.

On the line "Do you like kissing girls?" my partner (wait, now my WIFE!) and I always shout "YES!!!!"

No Matter Where You Are

Following my last post, this is another automated post.
On this day, our wedding day, we should have/should be about to walk back down the aisle.

We will be walking back down the aisle to this song: No Matter Where You Are by Us The Duo.

As soon as we heard this song, around the time of the release of the film The Book Of Life, we knew this would be the one. Way before we were engaged we knew we wanted this song on our wedding day to play once we were finally married. It seemed like the perfect way to end our wedding on a real high! This song was actually written by the band, Us The Duo, who are a husband and wife duo and they wrote and performed this song for the first time on their wedding day so it is incredibly special to them and now to us also. 

I'm married!

How To Put Together A Great Wedding Playlist!

So I am now a few weeks away from my wedding and everything is going full speed! Ours is a wedding made up of things my partner and I love. One of my biggest pieces of advice for any couple getting married is to be selfish. It's usually your money paying for the day - and it is your day. There are plenty of things we've done in our wedding that may appear unconventional. For one, we are not hiring a DJ. I used to be a DJ and I honestly cannot stand going to events and finding it has a cheesy DJ playing the same cheesy tracks he cracks out at every event. If I have to listen to Come On Eileen by Dexy's Midnight Runners, I'll be the one running...to the bar.

On our wedding day, I decided I didn't want cheesy tunes. I used to be a DJ myself and there was no way I was going to let some stranger pick songs that just don't suit the mood. I decided I would DJ my own wedding. Now of course I want to be able to lie back and enjoy the day so I put together a playlist and a friend is overseeing the equipment, will bring it to the venue and set everything up and oversee the evening. I went through my guest list and asked people for their song recommendations. What song would be guaranteed to get them up and dancing? Then I added those songs into the playlist to make sure there were songs in our playlist sure to get different people there on the day up and dancing. I then peppered these songs throughout all the songs that I had personally chosen for the wedding day: songs that represent my partner and I, songs that hold memories with various friends or family members, feel good songs that have framed my life.

Initially, I tried so hard to please everyone and didn't keep track of timings and somehow made an 11 hour and 45 minute playlist for a 5 hour evening disco and then had the perilous task of going through and cutting songs out. It was like Sophie's Choice but I stuck to my guns and didn't delete any David Bowie songs from the playlist.

We made our playlist on Spotify and our friend will be using his equipment to play it for us free of charge. This saves us money but also our ear drums - I don't think I could stand a DJ cranking up some Justin Bieber on the most magical day of my life....

Shortly I'll post our full wedding playlist for those seeking inspiration.

Say Yes To A Dress... Literally ANY DRESS

Within the last 48 hours, I have purchased two bridal magazines. One is my favourite, Rock and Roll Bride, a magazine that almost makes me wish that my wedding was ages away because I will be sad when I no longer have a reason to buy this glorious publication. The other is Unveiled which I have never read but I spotted it in my local corner shop and honestly, I only have so long left to really enjoy and indulge in all things bridal.

I am now less than five months away from my wedding, a thought which hit me like a ton of bricks when I woke up today and panic texted my mother. I live in Yorkshire. My mother lives in Essex. My sister is in Gloucestershire. Trying to get all three of us into the same room so that I can do the classic trying-on-dresses-with-your-family thing is a little bit difficult. I am now five months away from my wedding and I have yet to try on a single wedding dress. 

The fact that I've not even tried a wedding dress on seems to be a serious thing in the wedding industry. Bridal shop sales people will instantly start chirping about how you need to get your orders in now, by the time you buy you're not going to have time for fittings, blah blah blah....

Now, with about five months left to go, I've had my first twinge of concern. I'm still not even 100% set on a particular style. Whilst I'm learning more towards a laid back, boho gown there is a part of me that may be tempted to a white, A Line number. It all remains to be seen so watch this space and hopefully I won't be walking down the aisle to my partner in a dress made of stapled-together white Kleenex sheets
....

Our Proposal Story

For me, good things happen in Northern Italy. It's where my life began. It's where my mother and father agreed they wanted to have a child at a wedding in Bergamo. It's where I spent my 18th birthday, in the midst of Carnivale in Venice. So when my partner and I were approaching our six year anniversary, we decided to spend five days in Milan to celebrate the milestone.

The day of our actual anniversary came around, and we decided to do the most recommended tourist attraction Milan has to offer: we decided to visit the stunning Milan Cathedral and then ascend to the Duomo di Milano. Due to our budget, we went for the cheapest ticket option, which meant we could enter the cathedral and then go up to the roof, but had to go by foot rather than paying the extra few Euros to go up by elevator. Inside, the experience was breathtaking. The Gothic Cathedral, uniquely designed, took centuries to complete.

A habit I've never really been able to shake is that whenever I enter a beautiful European cathedral, I will always feel compelled to light a candle where possible inside the building and say a prayer for my worries. Though I wouldn't consider myself strictly Christian, I know it's what my mother would do and so I find myself putting wax to flame nonetheless. The experience would have felt more spiritual were it not for the sheer amount of tourists swarming in and out of the building, leaving you feeling like a fish caught in a strong tide.

Eventually we began our ascension to the roof via a rectangular tower. It was at this point I remembered that I am not only afraid of heights, but I am horribly claustrophobic. As I walked up the seemingly never-ending and windowless tower, I regretted my choice of shoes - flip flops. Not great for climbing. When we finally got to the top, I had been fighting off a panic attack which came to fruition at the top as I saw how high up I was and began panicking. I got to the point that my breathing was shaky and I involuntarily started to cry, hot tears splashing from behind my dark black aviators. It didn't really conceal much though. My Italian is pretty shaky but I heard the guy behind me say to his friend, 'Oh, that poor girl!' My partner held my hand and lead me along slowly. I began to feel that, as long as I was with her, I would never have reason to be afraid. I calmed myself as we walked from the back of the building towards the front. The views, in truth, were spectacular. You can see for miles, rooftops beneath a sapphire sky. Just when I had calmed down, I saw there were more stairs. I began to hyperventilate. I could hear two Italians behind me saying, 'oh, that poor girl!' Nonetheless, Hannah held my hand and lead me on.

There is a spot near the very top of the cathedral where you can sit upon a stone bench and look down on the open square. Everything from up high looks so small. I forced myself to look down and fully absorb the moment, fighting my fear. I mean, I hyperventilated for a few good minutes. But eventually I calmed down. If you just force yourself to look down long enough, sometimes the fear subsides. Accept the height to take in the beauty, I told myself. I had a wonderful partner at my side and, just by sitting together, I felt safer. I knew I would always feel safer with her by my side. Eventually, she coaxed me over to a balcony to the side of the cathedral.We squeezed in and looked out over the rooftop and hustle and bustle of tourists going to and fro amongst the alleyways. There was just enough room for the two of us to stand there. I decided to push my boundaries just a little. I took my arm, and held it out over the balcony, and looked down.

'There,' I said, 'that's my brave deed for the day.'

'Have you enjoyed these last six years?' Han asked me.
I said yes.
'Do you want to keep doing stuff like this?'
Again, I said yes.
She sank to one knee, raising up a box housing a ring with sapphires matching the perfect blue of the sky above. I think she said something else, but I was too busy saying yes.

'Yes, of course,' are the words that I believe escaped my lips. Suddenly my fear vanished and my all too perfect fiancee earned her new status by ensuring we got the elevator back down to the ground.

Same-sex Marriage: A super gay blog post.

Love is love.
Love is lovely.
It is lovely to love and to be in love.

A key element within a loving relationship is respect, something we are taught from infancy. We are taught to respect our elders, we are taught to respect our parents, we are taught to respect those that are in power. I still find it astonishing how seldom it is that people respect their fellow man.
We are living in an age where awareness of same sex love and the arguments for same sex marriage are being brought forth. Same-sex marriage is already legal in several countries, progress is being made.    


With same-sex marriage currently being discussed by the powers that be I wanted to discuss why same sex married should be legal in the UK whilst discussing various viewpoints that have been given from those who would oppose gay marriage. First of all I would like to state my reasons for supporting same sex marriage. Firstly, it is because it is love. Love cannot be valued or measured against each other and therefore heterosexual love, same sex love - they're not comparable. It's all beautiful and worthy of celebration. Secondly, because I myself have a wonderful partner who happens to share a gender with me. She is someone I adore and would be lucky to marry. I just hope that I don't have to move to another country to have to declare such love.
 
Now let's think about the main reasons given against same sex marriage.

"Same sex marriage will destroy the sanctity of marriage"
A point of view that goes without evidence, especially since same sex marriage is now legal in several countries. It will ruin nothing. If you can honestly think of any way in which same sex marriage will have an impact on your own marriage, do tell me. Do you know what really ruins the sanctity of marriage? Divorce. Divorce was something that literally severs, thus ruining, the sanctity of marriage and that has been legal for some time now. Marriage, in that instance, was rewritten and has become part of our society.

"Same sex marriage will redefine marriage"
The fact that rapists cannot force their victims to marry them, the fact we've created and carry out divorce and the fact that you can divorce and marry as many people as you want regardless of gender in most societies means we've already redefined marriage. It's an evolving institution to match an evolving society. Keep up.




"But marriage is about children, and gays can't have children"
Oh well, I guess you have us there... NOT.
Heterosexual marriage is not about having children otherwise the preparations for marriage would require intrusive fertility tests and since no one has their virility or reproductive organs examined prior to every marriage we can safely say this is not so. Also with our overpopulated world do we really have to be so concerned with the creation of more children? What we need is loving households open to adopting children. I'm just saying, us gays are a good market for that. There's nothing in the traditional marriage vows that says "I promise to fill you full of babies/squish out all your babies" so this argument, my friends, is pointless. One of my closest friends was married most of her life and her and her husband entered the marriage never planning to have children and for the time that they were married the marriage served the expected purpose, unhindered by the imagined requirement to childbearing. Some people just don't want to have children. Similarly some people cannot have children, and these people are still given the right to a common law, heterosexual marriage.

"But it says in the Bible tha-"
Don't force your religious views on me

"It's a sin"
Don't force your religious views on me

"Bible says marriage is one man and one woman"
Don't force your religions views on me

"You'll go to Hell"Don't force your religious views on me

Seriously. Without any desire to offend, pushing your religious views or lack of religious views on others is wrong. This is where the lack of respect is a real issue. You have to respect the religious rights of other people as well as their sexual and romantic rights. If you want to follow a religion/religious teaching, avoid 'sin' and Hell then do so, but also respect that others hold different views and should be allowed to live their lives in such a way.

"I just don't like it"
Oh yeah? I don't like it when people tell restrict my rights because of their own views an anxieties. Deal with it and move on.

Marriage is about committing yourself to someone and having certain benefits because of that love. Marriage is an institution that is forever evolving.


Using the argument that 'marriage is between a man and a woman' seems the stupidest argument.
Yes, we know that's the way marriage is currently. That's what we're trying to change. We're trying to make marriage more inclusive. Thank you for pointing out the obvious, good sir.

Marriage has been redefined. Marriage has changed. Marriage is changing. You can deny it now but it's only a matter of time. Many studies have shown that most people under the age of 25 are pro-gay marriage which helps me believe that if gay marriage were to go to public vote it would at least happen eventually. I hail from a generation that understands tolerance, practices acceptance and celebrates difference. In this particular celebration of 'difference' we need the outcome to be something 'same'. Allowing for same sex marriage won't harm anyone or threaten any values. All it will mean is that more people can get married. People that are already dating, co-parenting, loving each other. I for one can't wait for that day.

I am blessed to have a partner who will care for me when I'm ill, travel to me when we're apart, make me feel better when I'm down. Even before we were dating when I once injured my ankle and couldn't walk on it, she rushed from the other town to help walk me to the hospital. Before we were even dating when I was crammed into a boiling hot gym to do my theatre studies exam, sweating and without a beverage, she was waiting outside with a bottle of Diet Coke having thought I might be thirsty. She was the one who celebrated with me when I got into university. She was the one who held my heart when I went through break ups with other people. She was the one who cared for me during horrible panic attacks. I am so blessed to have found someone who is utterly selfless, caring and endlessly loving. I would be privileged to join my life with hers on paper.

If we can't get married we then lose out on so many of the legal rights that come with marriage.
If she were in hospital I wouldn't be able to visit her and stay by her side. If we had children there would be speculation and debate over our parentage, if one of us died the other partner may not even be considered a 'legal guardian'
We'd not be able to have spousal any say in funeral arrangements.

This would deem our relationship inferior to that of another couple, regardless of their love for each other or commitment, because there isn't a penis within this relationship and that, I feel, is wrong. As a society we need to attempt to deconstruct and re-evaluate our pre-conceived notions about marriage to become more inclusive and to accept same-sex marriage. As I have said it harms no one. Adhering to the idea of a 'traditional marriage' marginalizes many. The perpetuation of heterosexist attitudes and the ongoing denial of same-sex marriage stigmatises gay and lesbian couples and their relationships. We cannot continue to treat such couples as 'Other' or 'alternative' and solely consider heteronormative domesticity between a heterosexual marriage as the only form of marriage that is 'right'

Same sex relationships are going to happen.
Love is going to happen.
As couples these people need the rights that come with marriage, the rights that have been solely constructed around heterosexual marriage. It is time for love, regardless of gender, to be included. If you don't agree with gay marriage, then don't marry someone of your gender.



If you still oppose the notion of gay marriage then I hate to say it but ... how is it any of your business what other people want to do and how they choose to live their lives? What is it to you anyway?