Queen of the Damned: The Book VS The Film

Before working on this post I had only seen Queen of the Damned once in my life. As an Anne Rice fan I vowed never to watch this dung pile of a film ever again. That was until I decided to compare the film and the book for you dear readers. I'd even said I'd do a review of the film for Halloween and then Halloween came and went and I still didn't want to bring myself to watch this damn movie. Now it's on TV by coincidence so I sat down and I'm going to watch it again. Admittedly I haven't read the book for many years but after this I probably will soon for refuge more than anything. If there's anything I miss then I'm sorry. As I've said, I haven't read the book for some time. I have a long to read list but I think I'm going to revisit a lot of the Anne Rice's soon having re-read Interview with the Vampire this year.

I want you to know, blog-ghosts, that I'm doing this for you. I hope you appreciate this. This is going to be a raw blog where I blog along and just blurt out my thoughts for you. Why? Because I'm not going to go back to watch parts of this film for any scholarly analysis. No thank you.

Any time someone tells me they enjoyed this film I can automatically assume that they have not read the book.

Stuart Townsend, what is your accent at the beginning? Is that meant to be partly French or are you just hamming out a Bela Lugosi-esque performance?

I have to be honest though, the music in this film is pretty good.

I'm thinking about how you'd feel as someone unfamiliar to the books at this point. It goes straight into this narrative without explaining who Lestat is or anything about his past. So far it hasn't given him a reason for having been asleep for one hundred years. Also it goes straight to Lestat and the band being famous. I'm just trying to clear my mind and imagine I'm watching this with no prior knowledge of the Vampire Chronicles. Anne Rice writes in a lot of detail. In fact it's interesting to point out that even she is embarrassed of this more than unfaithful film adaptation. Firstly Stuart Townsend isn't right for Lestat. Lestat is meant to have blonde hair and greyish eyes.

What genre would you even put this film in? Horror? It isn't scary. I guess, though, you could call it horror for violently butchering the original source material beyond recognition.

"I'm very ticklish,"
And I'm cringing, Lestat.

I can't believe this guy was actually considered for the role of Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings films. He pulled out just before filming was set to commence.

Marius did not make Lestat. Marius did not make Lestat. Marius did not make Lestat. Marius did not make Lestat. Marius did not make Lestat. Marius did not make Lestat.

Fun story: In my first year of university I had two pet rats named Maharet and Mekare since they were two of the same litter, almost identical and Mekare had a reddish tinge to their fur.

David in this movie is just wrong. 

Marius in this movie is just wrong. 
I recall that Armand later turns up in this movie and is totally wrong. Armand in this film is more like a good Loras Tyrell. Marius and Armand are my favourites. Don't get me wrong. I adore Louis. I adore Lestat. I just love Armand and Marius that teeny bit more, I guess, therefore it pains me to see them so poorly portrayed. Even in the Interview with the Vampire film... I think that Antonio Banderas made a wonderful vampire but a poor Armand. He was so utterly wrong for the character.

Ha!
So Lestat is feeding from Marius and Marius says the line "Good, is it not?" in relation to his own blood. I remember laughing so hard about that with the girls I watched the film with and was at school with at the time. Then Lestat sits up awkwardly and goes "More."
Guys, I'm cringing.

I mean...
Who doesn't want to wake up in a castle without their pants on?

I do love the violin bit on the beach.
Not the scene, the actual music being played by the violin.
Lord.
Suddenly Lestat has golden eyes like a werewolf, Marius has darker eyes like a lycan from Underworld. Can I just watch Underworld Awakening instead?

I've just remembered, I don't recall Khayman featuring in this film at all... Does he appear at all?



Let's play a game. It's called "Who made a better Lestat: Tom Cruise or Stuart Townsend?"
The answer: I don't know but even thinking about it makes me want to start drinking gin.

Lestat chained to a bed whilst Marius looms over? This is the stuff that fanfiction is made of.

Ugh. Cue cringe-worthy "Goth" club scene featuring Jesse with Miley Cyrus hair. It's scenes like this that perpetuate bad images of Goth clubs as hostile or more focused on the sexual and fetish exploration. Don't get me wrong - I'm not hating on fetish clubs but the amount of times I've been to a Goth club and people have stood there looking confused like "why are you just dancing to Southern Death Cult? Is that all you do? Let me grind up against you now."
No.

This film is super campy. Maybe I didn't realise it when I first watched it but my God this is camp, borderline B-Movie quality in places.

You really expect me to believe that a vampire would wear a turtle-neck sweater? Puh-lease, girl. *sassy snap*

Wait. Maybe I haven't paid enough attention to the film but has it even touched on why Marius is keeping Akasha and Enkil? Has it even mentioned why Akasha and Enkil are... oh wait, I'm stopping mid sentence because Aaliyah is on screen and she is stunning. I love her outfit. Maybe not the head piece but the outfit itself is amazing and she moves her body like some sort of cobra. What is this sorcery?

The forced Jesse and Lestat love story is painful. Oh God, a moment of prolonged and dramatic staring. I guess we know where Twilight learned it. Here you see them drastically alter Jesse's character. Jesse turning into a vampire in the film and in the book are totally different. God, I'd forgotten so much of this movie. Remind me to never watch it again for good this time.

"HELLO DAVID"
Oh God, that's another line that had my friends and I chuckling.
"I MUST SHOW YOU MY NEW PAINTING SOME TIME."

ARMAND YOU GRINNING FOOL, JUST STOP IT.
YOU LOOK MORE LIKE CLAUDIA.

Marius landing on the stage with a Zoolander-like expression on his face: priceless.
"Good, is it not?"

The movie is called "Queen of the Damned" and yet that queen, Akasha, hardly features in the movie. It's like Beetlejuice; the titular character actually takes up such a small percentage of the film itself. They should've just done a Vampire Lestat film.

I do dig Akasha's eye make up with the long flick from her lash line and the line curved from the tip of her eyebrow...

So Jesse just wakes up and is magically at Maharet's Sonoma compound with absolutely no explanation. The poor people watching this film who didn't know the book and were probably trying to keep up with what on Earth was going on at this point...

The vampires in this film are messy, drinking blood in a sloppy manner, but Anne Rice's vampires are meticulous and do not spill a drop. Vampires in sunlight? It so far hasn't even really explained or explored Akasha's aims. It hasn't introduced Armand and Panroda and the other vampires. This film is really messy. 

Even in the film they're forcing some sort of relationship with Lestat and Jesse but they've only really known each other for, like, ten minutes meeting only a few times. This actress is terrible.
"No aunt Maharet, it's what I want..."

It's also so silly that in this film Pandora should die where Armand, a much younger vampire, does not.

That's not how Jesse becomes a vampire.
That's not how Akasha dies.
Pandora doesn't die.
That's not what happens. Stahhhp.

The film mentions nothing of the twins. Mekare doesn't even seem to feature thus far and I don't think she does at all.

"A wild Marius appears... He uses Hello David. It is super effective."

"HELLO DAVID."

OK.
Film over.
Final thoughts.
I'm still laughing my head off at "Hello David."

I'm sure the disjointed narrative and unexplained, under-developed characters made this a difficult film for many who are unfamiliar with the books to keep up with. Though, I suppose, you could probably say the same of those who had read the books. It lacks the Anne Rice charm that an adaptation of her work truly deserves. For Anne Rice fans this film is a waste of time. Characters like David, Pandora, Armand etc were hardly even introduced creating a truly disjointed film of fan favourites from the books that are utterly rejected by being pushed to the back to make way for nonsense. What a steaming, unpolished turd of a film with a decent soundtrack woven in throughout. 

This film should retire into a coffin and not come out. Ever.

While we're on the topic, I'm pretty sure that the film rights to The Tale of The Body Thief by Anne Rice were sold long ago. I genuinely have hope of a good Vampire Chronicles film. I really can't wait to see Angel Time being adapted for the screen and I'd love to see what could be done with The Wolf Gift. This film, however...

In conclusion: