Kavos: Sleaze Central or Soothing Escape?

"There have been some very negative reviews about this town. Many unflattering things have been said in the papers saying that this place is sleazy so when you go home you'll tell them the truth, won't you? You tell them just how great Kavos is!" said the hypnotist as he was nearing the end of his show. I wondered if he said this whilst using some of that persuasive, hypnotic skill of his. This was the third day into my holiday. His question had me wondering how I'd rate the place once my holiday was over. I've had a few weeks to reflect on the trip itself and here's what I have to say on the soon-to-be-infamous booze hole...

Kavos is a seaside town on the island of Corfu. It has become popular in recent years for young Brits going abroad on their first parent-free holiday with their friends. You may have seen it on the BBC Three show "Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents"; in fact on our first night we ended up in a restaurant that boasted a reputation of appearing in two episodes of the show. Kavos is a town with a reputation for crazy, hedonistic indulgence. I went with a few friends for a pre-graduation trip. After three years of university we wanted to let our hair down in one final hurrah. The impression of the town I was left with was fairly mixed.

On our second day there, a guy at the pool was informing us how many of the 'lads' had come specifically because of the sexual reputation that the town has. It was something we were yet to notice about the town for ourselves. With cheap alcohol, sex clubs and sex themed parties/events many come in the hopes of getting laid. In fact on the last night I was followed hopelessly and almost relentlessly down the strip by two unrelated guys who kept repeatedly asking me to come back to their hotel room. A strange highlight of the trip was being propositioned for sexual activity through the Carly Rae Jepsen song "Call Me Maybe" in Face Bar at the end of the strip. After spending a week there we did see our fair share of naked bodies as they were grinding drunkenly against poles in clubs or streaking at the poolside in a moment of youthful exuberance. This certainly isn't a town for the prudish. Prepare to see nude bodies and bodily fluids aplenty if you choose to holiday here.

The bar reps were unnecessarily aggressive at every turn. Almost every bar will have at least one bar
rep, some would boast several, and they would be stationed outside the bars and restaurants all hours of the day trying to persuade you to come into their bars. Some would just try to catch your eye and point you in the direction of the bar. Some would set their sights on you and follow you down the road really harassing you to get into the bar. What bothered me most was the sheer amount of male bar reps who physically put their hands on me to stop me from walking and pulling me into their bar. One man even brushed his hand along my chest in a less than accidental manner as he grabbed me. This made me incredibly uncomfortable. At times I yelled at these men to get off me and they ignored me until a friend of mine would step in upon seeing what was happening. The tactics of these reps show their ruthless desire to get you in to their bar at any cost. Many restaurants will also offer deals outside that suddenly vanish or change once the bill arrives. This, unfortunately, can also be said of the health clinics in the town also.

One thing we did learn very quickly was the importance of travel insurance. Having discussed it as a group before we left, we all stated that we were insured. At one point in the holiday a friend of mine on the trip with us overdid the birthday drinking a little and ended up with a 21st that she'll never forget - mainly because it ended in a local health clinic. In Kavos there is apparently no major hospital. If it is a really life-threatening injury you could be taken to Corfu town to their hospital. Otherwise you're in the hands of the local clinics. We found very quickly that these clinics treat their patients in the same way bars treat their clients: a source of money and nothing more. We as friends decided that we needed help getting her back to the hotel as we could not carry her and her mobility was hindered by her apparent drunken confusion about how gravity works. A local barman told us that a nearby clinic often offered to help move inebriated youths via a wheelchair if they were having trouble walking on their own. This, at the time, seemed like the only way we'd get our friend off of the beach and so we decided to ask for their help specifically to move her. Upon arrival with a doctor everything changed when we learned that the drunk friend in our party did not, despite previously saying otherwise, have travel insurance. Without any travel insurance she could incur a heavy charge getting involved with a local clinic. The island has one hospital that was about an hour away and therefore all Kavos clinics are privately owned. These places can play by their rules and charge whatever fees they want to. Our drunk friend, and the rest of us, then began to say that because of her lack of insurance that we would handle the situation ourselves. By this point our friend was at least crawling. The doctor, however, decided to call up some other doctors. He lumbered our friend into a wheel chair and raced off with her. When we ran after them and yelled, begging them to stop, we were ignored. When our friend flopped forward saying "Please stop, I think I'm going to be sick" a 'doctor' grabbed her by the hair and yanked her upright and they kept running with her. They seemed to be working under the idea that, if they could get her into the clinic, they could begin to charge us. When we mentioned that she had no travel insurance this was not a deterrent, it was fuel to make him hop onto the phone to get help so they could cash in from our situation. Before we even arrived at the hospital the doctor was throwing our friend onto a table with a drip in her hand, the hem of her dress pushed up to reveal her underwear, latex gloved hands roaming over her skin. They didn't ask if she had any allergies, perhaps a latex allergy, or even haemophilia. They automatically put her life at risk so that they could start running up a bill. We furiously argued with them. They were unprofessional and almost violent with us. At different points they grabbed and pushed various members of our party. They attempted to intimidate us. What they don't understand about the British is that we know drunkenness. It is our birth right. It is, often quite literally, in our blood. We know how to sober up and handle a drunk friend. They took advantage of our situation when we'd agreed for their help simply to transport our friend off of the beach. Eventually we got our friend out and, with our years of experience, cared for our drunk friend. I can safely say it was a birthday she won't forget despite the fact she can't actually remember a good portion of it.

The hypnotist act, Kev Bee at Genesis Bar, was certainly a highlight of the trip for me. We saw it twice: out of curiosity at first, then again to make one of our friends go up and get hypnotised. She went up as a non believer but somehow it seemed to work on even her. There were certain tricks/acts that left me a little concerned or uncomfortable due to their invasive sexual nature but the rest of it was fairly interesting, at least from a psychological point of view. It's not a show to take your kids to, this is something parents with children in the audience knew before having to leave part way through the show, but for typical Kavos-goers this will be a lot of fun.

The impression that I'm left with after my trip to Kavos is that it's a fun place for some, but not for me. It's great for students who want to drink, party, soak up sun and have a wild trip but you have to be prepared for a messy time. I think that crazy, care-free partying is something that I personally got out of my system earlier than most and therefore the Kavos party scene had no appeal to me. I had
plenty of great experiences: I ate swordfish for the first time, I made friends with a local band of stray cats and made wonderful memories with my friends. However this is a place where it's cheaper to get drunk than to stay hydrated. The town seems to come with a specific purpose for being there and, since we didn't match that, we felt somewhat juxtaposed at times. It would suit a student budget but it's not a place I' return to any time soon. I found myself avoiding the Kavos strip at all costs in favour of a day by the pool where I could read a book in the shade, have a beer with my friends and swim until my skin pruned and crinkled up. Though there are many things to do besides partying (like boat trips, beach days and socialising at the poolside) it does seem to be the main reason that most flock to this town. I enjoyed this trip mostly because I went with a wonderful group of women and we spent the trip laughing the day away, walking on the beaches and trying new restaurants together each night. I had a wonderful time in Kavos, of course I did, but I can assure you that I wouldn't have had a great time there if I had gone alone. Will I return to Kavos? No. I've been to other areas of Greece that I'd happily go to again because there was much more on offer than sex, drugs and booze. I suggest that if you do go, go with people that will really make the trip fun. That way, whatever the reasons for being there, it'll ensure you leave with wonderful holiday memories. I know I have some great memories and some insane, Hangover style photos. It's certainly a holiday I enjoyed despite the odds.

Or maybe I've been hypnotised to say this.