One Day More

Have I ever actually mentioned here what my dissertation is about despite rambling about it?
It's focused on the novels 'Dracula' by Bram Stoker and 'Interview with the Vampire' and using psychoanalytic theory along with philosophical theory and literary criticism to explore how representations and the exploration of desire has changed in Gothic literature.
Yeah, I guess it does sound kinda cool. 

I've used this dissertation in many ways:
- I've tried to accumulate different aspects of my time at university and the things I've learned and combine them. I wanted to use the work of theorists and critics we'd studied in various modules so that this dissertation epitomises the university education I've received.

- I wanted to bring in the notion of psychoanalysis because I never studied psychology though I always wanted to. It has always been an interest of mine, the human mind that is, and because psychology was oversubscribed at my school I couldn't take it. Instead I took both English literature and English language which then impacted what I went on to do at university. Perhaps if I had studied psychology that would have been my degree subject - who knows? I suppose I wanted to take the opportunity to include it in my dissertation in some way so that I was able to study some psychology in some way. I've had to do so much extra reading, so much new learning, and have brought it in alongside the work of other theorists. My aunt is a psychologist who works in positive, cognitive and behavioural psychology often using her skills to teach women to lead in the workplace. The works of Freud and Lacan are so often brought to examine texts. Do you know how closely intertwined Hamlet and Freud are in University English dissertations? It's practically a cliché.

- I've always loved vampires. I suppose I don't really know why. Maybe that's why all the psychoanalysis helps, huh? I suppose I was drawn to the overall tone and aesthetic of modern Gothic within literature as well as on film. I remember buying Interview with the Vampire when I was around 13. I can't remember how long I've had my copy of Dracula, but I remember my aunt gave it to me. I believe we were at Stansted Airport waiting for a flight and she gave me Dracula and Frankenstein - two of the literary loves of my life. In fact Averil has a special thanks in the acknowledgement section of my dissertation because without her I may not have ever read Dracula and then who would I be?

This time tomorrow my work will be finished, printed and ready to be marked. I'm proud of my efforts. I'll be damn proud if they hate it and I fail. I'm hoping to get a good grade but the past two weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster swooping from 'I don't even care if I fail anymore' to 'IF I FAIL I WILL DIE AND EVERYONE WILL LAUGH AT ME AND HATE ME AND NO ONE WILL EVER BE MY FRIEND AND NOT EVEN MCDONALDS WILL HIRE ME BECAUSE OF HOW BAD MY DISSERTATION WAS WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE OH GOD'

So...I guess it's time to finish this or, as I like to say, to put the final nail in the coffin.