Blog-ghosts

I'd like to welcome my new readers, or 'blog-ghosts' as I call you, from Malaysia and the Philippines.

Welcome, welcome, welcome!
If you like this blog then please pass it on to your friends and keep reading. I post regularly and if there's a topic you want me to cover then let me know in the comments and I'll do my best or at least try.

Love to all of you!

Same-sex Marriage: A super gay blog post.

Love is love.
Love is lovely.
It is lovely to love and to be in love.

A key element within a loving relationship is respect, something we are taught from infancy. We are taught to respect our elders, we are taught to respect our parents, we are taught to respect those that are in power. I still find it astonishing how seldom it is that people respect their fellow man.
We are living in an age where awareness of same sex love and the arguments for same sex marriage are being brought forth. Same-sex marriage is already legal in several countries, progress is being made.    


With same-sex marriage currently being discussed by the powers that be I wanted to discuss why same sex married should be legal in the UK whilst discussing various viewpoints that have been given from those who would oppose gay marriage. First of all I would like to state my reasons for supporting same sex marriage. Firstly, it is because it is love. Love cannot be valued or measured against each other and therefore heterosexual love, same sex love - they're not comparable. It's all beautiful and worthy of celebration. Secondly, because I myself have a wonderful partner who happens to share a gender with me. She is someone I adore and would be lucky to marry. I just hope that I don't have to move to another country to have to declare such love.
 
Now let's think about the main reasons given against same sex marriage.

"Same sex marriage will destroy the sanctity of marriage"
A point of view that goes without evidence, especially since same sex marriage is now legal in several countries. It will ruin nothing. If you can honestly think of any way in which same sex marriage will have an impact on your own marriage, do tell me. Do you know what really ruins the sanctity of marriage? Divorce. Divorce was something that literally severs, thus ruining, the sanctity of marriage and that has been legal for some time now. Marriage, in that instance, was rewritten and has become part of our society.

"Same sex marriage will redefine marriage"
The fact that rapists cannot force their victims to marry them, the fact we've created and carry out divorce and the fact that you can divorce and marry as many people as you want regardless of gender in most societies means we've already redefined marriage. It's an evolving institution to match an evolving society. Keep up.




"But marriage is about children, and gays can't have children"
Oh well, I guess you have us there... NOT.
Heterosexual marriage is not about having children otherwise the preparations for marriage would require intrusive fertility tests and since no one has their virility or reproductive organs examined prior to every marriage we can safely say this is not so. Also with our overpopulated world do we really have to be so concerned with the creation of more children? What we need is loving households open to adopting children. I'm just saying, us gays are a good market for that. There's nothing in the traditional marriage vows that says "I promise to fill you full of babies/squish out all your babies" so this argument, my friends, is pointless. One of my closest friends was married most of her life and her and her husband entered the marriage never planning to have children and for the time that they were married the marriage served the expected purpose, unhindered by the imagined requirement to childbearing. Some people just don't want to have children. Similarly some people cannot have children, and these people are still given the right to a common law, heterosexual marriage.

"But it says in the Bible tha-"
Don't force your religious views on me

"It's a sin"
Don't force your religious views on me

"Bible says marriage is one man and one woman"
Don't force your religions views on me

"You'll go to Hell"Don't force your religious views on me

Seriously. Without any desire to offend, pushing your religious views or lack of religious views on others is wrong. This is where the lack of respect is a real issue. You have to respect the religious rights of other people as well as their sexual and romantic rights. If you want to follow a religion/religious teaching, avoid 'sin' and Hell then do so, but also respect that others hold different views and should be allowed to live their lives in such a way.

"I just don't like it"
Oh yeah? I don't like it when people tell restrict my rights because of their own views an anxieties. Deal with it and move on.

Marriage is about committing yourself to someone and having certain benefits because of that love. Marriage is an institution that is forever evolving.


Using the argument that 'marriage is between a man and a woman' seems the stupidest argument.
Yes, we know that's the way marriage is currently. That's what we're trying to change. We're trying to make marriage more inclusive. Thank you for pointing out the obvious, good sir.

Marriage has been redefined. Marriage has changed. Marriage is changing. You can deny it now but it's only a matter of time. Many studies have shown that most people under the age of 25 are pro-gay marriage which helps me believe that if gay marriage were to go to public vote it would at least happen eventually. I hail from a generation that understands tolerance, practices acceptance and celebrates difference. In this particular celebration of 'difference' we need the outcome to be something 'same'. Allowing for same sex marriage won't harm anyone or threaten any values. All it will mean is that more people can get married. People that are already dating, co-parenting, loving each other. I for one can't wait for that day.

I am blessed to have a partner who will care for me when I'm ill, travel to me when we're apart, make me feel better when I'm down. Even before we were dating when I once injured my ankle and couldn't walk on it, she rushed from the other town to help walk me to the hospital. Before we were even dating when I was crammed into a boiling hot gym to do my theatre studies exam, sweating and without a beverage, she was waiting outside with a bottle of Diet Coke having thought I might be thirsty. She was the one who celebrated with me when I got into university. She was the one who held my heart when I went through break ups with other people. She was the one who cared for me during horrible panic attacks. I am so blessed to have found someone who is utterly selfless, caring and endlessly loving. I would be privileged to join my life with hers on paper.

If we can't get married we then lose out on so many of the legal rights that come with marriage.
If she were in hospital I wouldn't be able to visit her and stay by her side. If we had children there would be speculation and debate over our parentage, if one of us died the other partner may not even be considered a 'legal guardian'
We'd not be able to have spousal any say in funeral arrangements.

This would deem our relationship inferior to that of another couple, regardless of their love for each other or commitment, because there isn't a penis within this relationship and that, I feel, is wrong. As a society we need to attempt to deconstruct and re-evaluate our pre-conceived notions about marriage to become more inclusive and to accept same-sex marriage. As I have said it harms no one. Adhering to the idea of a 'traditional marriage' marginalizes many. The perpetuation of heterosexist attitudes and the ongoing denial of same-sex marriage stigmatises gay and lesbian couples and their relationships. We cannot continue to treat such couples as 'Other' or 'alternative' and solely consider heteronormative domesticity between a heterosexual marriage as the only form of marriage that is 'right'

Same sex relationships are going to happen.
Love is going to happen.
As couples these people need the rights that come with marriage, the rights that have been solely constructed around heterosexual marriage. It is time for love, regardless of gender, to be included. If you don't agree with gay marriage, then don't marry someone of your gender.



If you still oppose the notion of gay marriage then I hate to say it but ... how is it any of your business what other people want to do and how they choose to live their lives? What is it to you anyway?

Visiting the 'rents.

This is a short post because there's beer on the line, guys.

I just wanted to put it out there how much I love my Dad. Though he likes to make jokes about me eating Quorn (or as he calls it 'plastic food') he incorporates it into meals anyway or takes my dietary requirements into consideration.

But also if I leave the room or go away somewhere he sometimes gets a little lonely and might look for a way of getting me to come back downstairs. This was made evident by him entering the room and saying "there's beer downstairs, you coming?"


Yes.
Yes I am.

Relaxation.

I'm totally addicted to Lush Cosmetics.

The past year or so I've been trying to cut down on my part in animal exploitation.
First I started trying to cut down on the amount of products I use that were tested on animals or came about through animal cruelty. Secondly I became a pescetarian, something I've mentioned in previous blogs and discussed in detail.

I suppose most of us don't like the idea of animals suffering for us, but what can we personally do to cut loose our ties with animal cruelty?

I guess the first idea is obvious: if you personally have animals, treat them well. Make sure they're fed (without overfeeding them), take them to the vets if they need it, give them affection and attention and treat them as living beings with respect. Now look at your pet. How would you feel if they were being harmed for your benefit?

One reason I really love buying my cosmetic items from Lush means that they not only have animal friendly products, but they also do a lot of work and fundraising for animal based causes. They've recently started to revive their massive Against Animal Cruelty campaign.

Knowing that you're buying products that are not only free from having been tested on animals, a lot of their products are vegan. I've been shopping at Lush for six or seven years now and I love it. By now I have a decent knowledge on their products and know what my 'usuals' are.


Therefore I'd like to share with you some of my favourite Lush products. Maybe, if you like what you read, you'll try them out. Their products are of a high and wonderful quality rarely found elsewhere that pamper perfectly and provide care from head to toe.

1) Daddy-O Shampoo

A delightfully vibrant, fragrant shampoo with a soft smell of violets. It works great on light hair and dyed hair particularly and leaves your hair soft and smelling delightful. If your hair is coarse or in need of care and nutrition this is the shampoo for you. Recommended to me by an in store employee I've not used anything since; this is a product what gives back the things daily wear and tear can take from our hair.

2) American Cream

American Cream is a conditioner with a soft vanilla fragrance. If you tend to abuse your hair thus leaving it frizzy and wiry, this is the conditioner for you. It leaves hair soft, supple and all without weighing it down. This is a conditioner that will leave you surreptitiously sniffing your hair throughout the day because the sweet, light scent is pleasant and fragrant. This product is an absolute affordable luxury.

3) Rehab and Retread

These are two that should come as a pair as they work best together. Rehab shampoo will clean your hair and repair it. If you're someone that dyes your hair, applies heat to it or backcombs it a lot then this is the shampoo for you. It has a strong, sharp spearmint scent which scrubs the hair until it's clean. Then the Retread conditioner goes onto the newly fresh and clean hair and provides nutrients and smoothness, leaving a cooling scent that puts the life back into your hair. Rehab and Retread are the bathroom embodiment of a superhero team.

4) Brazened Honey

I've really been trying to take better care of myself the past few months and a part of my skin care routine is putting on some Brazened Honey face mask whilst I read because when I read that's a perfect time to do it as my face remains perfectly still. It smells wonderful and clears your skin whilst also softening it. This feels like a little luxury but it is hardly expensive and lasts for ages.

Lush also have a whole host of wonderful bath bombs for those fortunate enough to have a bath. I often pick up a bathbomb or two if staying somewhere with a bath. Some favourites of mine are Space Girl, Phoenix Rising and Romance in a Stone.

Though slightly more expensive than the average cheap bathroom product these are not, as previously stated, average. It is the excellent quality and cruelty free product that is worth every penny and I can speak from personal experience - these products last more than regular products and a little goes a long way.

Do you shop at Lush? If so, what products do you like most?

Take care of yourselves, beautiful blog-ghosts.

Click here for Lush UK
Click here for Lush.com to find products in your area

Fiction.

Novel writing proving particularly difficult today. I simply can't seem to find inspiration but for the sake of not wasting a day I'm really trying. This is my thing for today.
Today I've just done lots of boring things. Unloading the washing machine and hanging up clothing, loading the dishwasher, giving the dog a bath, taking care of the chickens (this included chasing away a monster fox. I get that he just wants to feed his foxy family but he got six of our hens in the last week. This means war, Mr Fox. War.)


I'm trying to work out how many pages I should write per month/week/day and trying to plot out a novel in a systematic manner so I can get it finished by the end of the year. It seems terribly rigid to plan something creative in so formulaic a way but I've proven to myself over the dissertation writing process that working to a schedule helps.

"The No Wasted Day Project"

I'm sure we all have days where we feel guilty as we realise that we could have done more with the day now behind us. I know I hate. Time goes so quickly and then we can never get it back. This is a thought that interests me.

Having just completed my university dissertation I know I put in a lot of work, but parts of me think "Why didn't I work more?"
I think it's a pretty natural response when you've invested a lot of energy and emotion into.


So I'm proposing something called the 'No Wasted Day Project'
It's a project that you take up yourself to ensure that no day goes wasted.
Make sure you get up and go to work or university or school. Pick up your old guitar and write a new song. Call someone you've not spoken to in a while and make plans. Doing these little things on a daily basis will be a source of enrichment in your life.

I'll be taking part too.
From now on every day I will take time to do something that ensures that day wasn't wasted. I'll write some more of a novel or a poem, I'll get in contact with a friend I've not spoken to for ages, I'll go for a long walk with my dog - anything. If there's a day when I'm ill or I can't do much then I shall try to even do something small like write a physical letter to a friend to send when I'm better or make notes on things I want to do for a script or story or research vegetarian recipes.

I completely urge you to do the same. As human beings we should constantly be seeking new experiences or exploring the vastness of our human conciousness and the experience that is our life. Have a happy Sunday.

Brrr!

Ever read Last Exit to Brooklyn?

Getting out of Huddersfield train station this morning felt like a mission of epic proportions. It seems like a miracle I even made it to my train. Later I'll upload a post with some pictures from the journey so you can see how crazy the snow is here.

Hope you're all warm, blog-ghosts.