Monday, 7 October 2013

31 Horror Films In 31 Days: Film Five, Dawn of the Dead (2004)

This is yet another blog-along post where I'll be blogging along as I watch another horror film as part of the 31 Horror Films in 31 Days challenge. Warning: Since I'm blogging my thoughts whilst watching the film THERE WILL BE SPOILERS.

This is one of those "I-can't-remember-if-I've-seen-it-before" kinda films. I mean the assumption often is that once you've seen one zombie film you've seen them all, right? Well here goes.


Synopsis: Worst. Morning. EVER.


OK. Real synopsis. In the early morning a woman finds her daughter is all bloody faced and, oh yeah, a zombie. Zombie daughter bites husband. Husband becomes zombie husband. Woman goes on mission of survival. Oh hell, you've seen a zombie film, haven't you?

Also proof that nothing good happens in Milwaukee.

You know what? In previous relationships I've actually had the same zombie survival plan conversation with two different people that I've dated. You know the "what would you do if I became a zombie" conversation where you tell the person you love it's OK to shoot you in the event of your zombie transformation. That said, I couldn't kill my current partner which, if anything, tells me this is true love.

Ha! I heard one of those traditional horror film woman screaming sound bytes... like the Wilhelm scream but female.

"We're going to the mall" - Ok, am I the only one who can hear Robin Sparkles in the back of my mind?

I like that an elevator style version of "Don't Worry Be Happy" is playing in the mall during this zombie apocalypse.

God, that actually seems like a pretty cool job: being a zombie extra in a movie. You turn up, get painted all bloody and have absolutely no lines to remember....

I like how they all followed that guy to the mall even though he didn't say why specifically he wanted to go there in the first place. I also like how there were eight people previously in their group and, of the people remaining, is a heavily pregnant woman. She must be some badass chick.

"What are they?" Oh come the fuck on. In 2004 you knew what zombies were. Also if I were in a mall I'd already have changed out of blood soaked clothes into something hella expensive. May as well make the best out of the situation... Also why has this woman not cried over the loss of her husband and child yet? How is she just coping? Since she woke up her family is gone, her neighbourhood is in ruins and her reality is utterly altered. How does someone, a mother, just cope with this?

Woah... I stopped looking at the screen for a second. What's up with the woman in the wheelbarrow? I mean, come on. She's totally a zombie in the making.

HOLY CRAP, IT'S PHIL FROM MODERN FAMILY.

"She's cold..." YEAH BECAUSE SHE'S BECOMING A ZOMBIE. PLEASE THROW HER OUT OF A WINDOW? Yep. Zombie.

"Michael's coming to shoot you," So be afraid, crazy teeth man... Wait, how come his bite hasn't turned him yet but blonde protagonist's husband became instantly zombified?

I do love the slight humour between the cop and the guy on the roof of the gun store.

Uh oh, Phil from Modern Family is having sex.

This is a zombie film with moments of real human emotion with little sprinklings of humour too. I liked the scene where the people in the ma are all sat around and just talking as they deal with their situation. They're totally ignoring what's going on outside in that moment. Uh oh, lights out and pregnant woman is giving birth. I can already tell where this is going...

Just an idea: if you see blood stains on the wall, run the fuck back and do not keep walking.

Oh no. And now I'm in the classic "I hope the dog survives this horror movie" mode. It's now all I care about. Well, that and the bromance between cop and gun store roof person.

Nope nope nope. That's all I have to say to the horrific, zombie-baby giving birth scene. Nope. A big old nope....



Oh God no, they better not harm the dog. No. Get the the back safe. Get the dog back right now. RIGHT NOW. I want the dog please. Get the dog back. No. Get the dog back. Nope nope nope. NOPE.

Alas, what happened to the old days when zombies were really, really slow?

Bromance terminated.

I'd be super pissed off if I'd had to go on a rescue mission for this girl because she freaked out over the dog when surely they could have waited to rescue it when they're in their big armoured bus thing.

I hope they had the sense to pack the bus up with clothes, food and any medical supplies in advance in case something like this went down. They are, of course, leaving a relatively safe place with nourishment and supplies. I'd have tried to take as many guns and as much ammunition from the gun shop as possible too.

This film has taught me why to not drive with a working chainsaw in operation

Again, I know it's really important that they get away from the zombies, but is the dog OK?

I'm also not too keen on blonde protagonist having some sort of relationship with fairly handsome dude when she hasn't even visibly mourned the loss of her husband and daughter (It's cool guys, the dog is safe). Oh, and now that vaguely pretty guy has been bitten by a zombie she's totally irrational thinking she can save him and that he'll be OK. You're a nurse for goodness sake. You know what's going to happen.

OK well it wasn't the best, it wasn't the worst.

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