Our Proposal Story

For me, good things happen in Northern Italy. It's where my life began. It's where my mother and father agreed they wanted to have a child at a wedding in Bergamo. It's where I spent my 18th birthday, in the midst of Carnivale in Venice. So when my partner and I were approaching our six year anniversary, we decided to spend five days in Milan to celebrate the milestone.

The day of our actual anniversary came around, and we decided to do the most recommended tourist attraction Milan has to offer: we decided to visit the stunning Milan Cathedral and then ascend to the Duomo di Milano. Due to our budget, we went for the cheapest ticket option, which meant we could enter the cathedral and then go up to the roof, but had to go by foot rather than paying the extra few Euros to go up by elevator. Inside, the experience was breathtaking. The Gothic Cathedral, uniquely designed, took centuries to complete.

A habit I've never really been able to shake is that whenever I enter a beautiful European cathedral, I will always feel compelled to light a candle where possible inside the building and say a prayer for my worries. Though I wouldn't consider myself strictly Christian, I know it's what my mother would do and so I find myself putting wax to flame nonetheless. The experience would have felt more spiritual were it not for the sheer amount of tourists swarming in and out of the building, leaving you feeling like a fish caught in a strong tide.

Eventually we began our ascension to the roof via a rectangular tower. It was at this point I remembered that I am not only afraid of heights, but I am horribly claustrophobic. As I walked up the seemingly never-ending and windowless tower, I regretted my choice of shoes - flip flops. Not great for climbing. When we finally got to the top, I had been fighting off a panic attack which came to fruition at the top as I saw how high up I was and began panicking. I got to the point that my breathing was shaky and I involuntarily started to cry, hot tears splashing from behind my dark black aviators. It didn't really conceal much though. My Italian is pretty shaky but I heard the guy behind me say to his friend, 'Oh, that poor girl!' My partner held my hand and lead me along slowly. I began to feel that, as long as I was with her, I would never have reason to be afraid. I calmed myself as we walked from the back of the building towards the front. The views, in truth, were spectacular. You can see for miles, rooftops beneath a sapphire sky. Just when I had calmed down, I saw there were more stairs. I began to hyperventilate. I could hear two Italians behind me saying, 'oh, that poor girl!' Nonetheless, Hannah held my hand and lead me on.

There is a spot near the very top of the cathedral where you can sit upon a stone bench and look down on the open square. Everything from up high looks so small. I forced myself to look down and fully absorb the moment, fighting my fear. I mean, I hyperventilated for a few good minutes. But eventually I calmed down. If you just force yourself to look down long enough, sometimes the fear subsides. Accept the height to take in the beauty, I told myself. I had a wonderful partner at my side and, just by sitting together, I felt safer. I knew I would always feel safer with her by my side. Eventually, she coaxed me over to a balcony to the side of the cathedral.We squeezed in and looked out over the rooftop and hustle and bustle of tourists going to and fro amongst the alleyways. There was just enough room for the two of us to stand there. I decided to push my boundaries just a little. I took my arm, and held it out over the balcony, and looked down.

'There,' I said, 'that's my brave deed for the day.'

'Have you enjoyed these last six years?' Han asked me.
I said yes.
'Do you want to keep doing stuff like this?'
Again, I said yes.
She sank to one knee, raising up a box housing a ring with sapphires matching the perfect blue of the sky above. I think she said something else, but I was too busy saying yes.

'Yes, of course,' are the words that I believe escaped my lips. Suddenly my fear vanished and my all too perfect fiancee earned her new status by ensuring we got the elevator back down to the ground.

Time For A Holiday

I'm starting to think about taking a little holiday somewhere. Next month I want to go back to the town in which I attended university and in November I'm thinking about going abroad somewhere nice. If I do, expect some cool travel articles and reviews. If you have any recommendations for cheap holiday destinations in Europe, let me know in the comments.

I think it's about time I go somewhere nice. Unfortunately I've not been able to book any time off over the summer holiday period. That said, I think I'm going to book some holiday time off after the summer period. By that time, summer holiday rates will have gone down and I'll probably be able to do a cheap week away somewhere sunny. I desperately need to get away.

Are you going away anywhere this summer?
Where?

Summer Holiday # 2: Lymington, UK!

So I recently took a little trip to Lymington, a town in the south of England near Bournemouth, with my partner. It acted as a chill out event, a writer retreat, and was fairly uneventful. We stayed at the home of a relative and did some house-sitting for them whilst caring for their pets. The town, I must say, was a little dull and rather anti-climactic after my wilf trip to Kavos. One thing I did notice is that most of the people in the town had this strange inability to register the personal space of others. The people of the town had a strange habit of bumping into everyone else with a total disregard for the people around them. People would scurry hither and thither without looking. Mothers would scream at their children in the streets. They'd plunge past you whilst standing in the doorway of the shop, not letting you exit before forcing their own entrance.

A small restaurant called The Ark provided a fairly poor dining experience. There was a huge time gap between everything, the waitress not fluent in English, and so everything was spread out. When my partner ordered a cider we were told, about ten minutes later, that they were out of cider. All cider, that is. So we changed our order. Later the waitress took over the drink orders of a table who came in after us, a cider on the tray. They hugely overcharged for a main course of home made fish cakes that were sub par and smaller than digestive biscuits with a handful of water-washed, soffy lettuce and a splash of chilli sauce. When my partner asked why such a small meal came in at such a price, the manager said they had never had any comments or complaints for the dish. We later found that they had only been open for a few weeks and probably hadn't had enough customers to even receive comments and complaints. The manager then spoke about our comments to the waitress loudly and within earshot which demonstrated a certain lack of professional behaviour. After finishing our plates weren't taken for over twenty minutes, despite the waitress walking past and making eye contact many times. Rather than waiting for the bill, we walked up to the manager and sorted the bill directly. Who knows how long we would have been there otherwise?  One place we did enjoy was The Six Bells. Of course, being owned and run by Wetherspoons, a decent menu and cheap beer was to be expected. I was just happy to have found somewhere since Kavos that served Amstel beer.

As a Tolkien fan I appreciated the influence that the surrounding area had upon Tolkien's work, but I doubt I would return for another break. That said I am a huge fan of having holidays within your own country. It is a great way of saving money and exploring the land you live in. I managed to get a good deal of writing done though and made friends with all of the neighbourhood dogs and cats so, as per usual, the situation had a silver lining.

Kavos: Sleaze Central or Soothing Escape?

"There have been some very negative reviews about this town. Many unflattering things have been said in the papers saying that this place is sleazy so when you go home you'll tell them the truth, won't you? You tell them just how great Kavos is!" said the hypnotist as he was nearing the end of his show. I wondered if he said this whilst using some of that persuasive, hypnotic skill of his. This was the third day into my holiday. His question had me wondering how I'd rate the place once my holiday was over. I've had a few weeks to reflect on the trip itself and here's what I have to say on the soon-to-be-infamous booze hole...

Kavos is a seaside town on the island of Corfu. It has become popular in recent years for young Brits going abroad on their first parent-free holiday with their friends. You may have seen it on the BBC Three show "Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents"; in fact on our first night we ended up in a restaurant that boasted a reputation of appearing in two episodes of the show. Kavos is a town with a reputation for crazy, hedonistic indulgence. I went with a few friends for a pre-graduation trip. After three years of university we wanted to let our hair down in one final hurrah. The impression of the town I was left with was fairly mixed.

On our second day there, a guy at the pool was informing us how many of the 'lads' had come specifically because of the sexual reputation that the town has. It was something we were yet to notice about the town for ourselves. With cheap alcohol, sex clubs and sex themed parties/events many come in the hopes of getting laid. In fact on the last night I was followed hopelessly and almost relentlessly down the strip by two unrelated guys who kept repeatedly asking me to come back to their hotel room. A strange highlight of the trip was being propositioned for sexual activity through the Carly Rae Jepsen song "Call Me Maybe" in Face Bar at the end of the strip. After spending a week there we did see our fair share of naked bodies as they were grinding drunkenly against poles in clubs or streaking at the poolside in a moment of youthful exuberance. This certainly isn't a town for the prudish. Prepare to see nude bodies and bodily fluids aplenty if you choose to holiday here.

The bar reps were unnecessarily aggressive at every turn. Almost every bar will have at least one bar
rep, some would boast several, and they would be stationed outside the bars and restaurants all hours of the day trying to persuade you to come into their bars. Some would just try to catch your eye and point you in the direction of the bar. Some would set their sights on you and follow you down the road really harassing you to get into the bar. What bothered me most was the sheer amount of male bar reps who physically put their hands on me to stop me from walking and pulling me into their bar. One man even brushed his hand along my chest in a less than accidental manner as he grabbed me. This made me incredibly uncomfortable. At times I yelled at these men to get off me and they ignored me until a friend of mine would step in upon seeing what was happening. The tactics of these reps show their ruthless desire to get you in to their bar at any cost. Many restaurants will also offer deals outside that suddenly vanish or change once the bill arrives. This, unfortunately, can also be said of the health clinics in the town also.

One thing we did learn very quickly was the importance of travel insurance. Having discussed it as a group before we left, we all stated that we were insured. At one point in the holiday a friend of mine on the trip with us overdid the birthday drinking a little and ended up with a 21st that she'll never forget - mainly because it ended in a local health clinic. In Kavos there is apparently no major hospital. If it is a really life-threatening injury you could be taken to Corfu town to their hospital. Otherwise you're in the hands of the local clinics. We found very quickly that these clinics treat their patients in the same way bars treat their clients: a source of money and nothing more. We as friends decided that we needed help getting her back to the hotel as we could not carry her and her mobility was hindered by her apparent drunken confusion about how gravity works. A local barman told us that a nearby clinic often offered to help move inebriated youths via a wheelchair if they were having trouble walking on their own. This, at the time, seemed like the only way we'd get our friend off of the beach and so we decided to ask for their help specifically to move her. Upon arrival with a doctor everything changed when we learned that the drunk friend in our party did not, despite previously saying otherwise, have travel insurance. Without any travel insurance she could incur a heavy charge getting involved with a local clinic. The island has one hospital that was about an hour away and therefore all Kavos clinics are privately owned. These places can play by their rules and charge whatever fees they want to. Our drunk friend, and the rest of us, then began to say that because of her lack of insurance that we would handle the situation ourselves. By this point our friend was at least crawling. The doctor, however, decided to call up some other doctors. He lumbered our friend into a wheel chair and raced off with her. When we ran after them and yelled, begging them to stop, we were ignored. When our friend flopped forward saying "Please stop, I think I'm going to be sick" a 'doctor' grabbed her by the hair and yanked her upright and they kept running with her. They seemed to be working under the idea that, if they could get her into the clinic, they could begin to charge us. When we mentioned that she had no travel insurance this was not a deterrent, it was fuel to make him hop onto the phone to get help so they could cash in from our situation. Before we even arrived at the hospital the doctor was throwing our friend onto a table with a drip in her hand, the hem of her dress pushed up to reveal her underwear, latex gloved hands roaming over her skin. They didn't ask if she had any allergies, perhaps a latex allergy, or even haemophilia. They automatically put her life at risk so that they could start running up a bill. We furiously argued with them. They were unprofessional and almost violent with us. At different points they grabbed and pushed various members of our party. They attempted to intimidate us. What they don't understand about the British is that we know drunkenness. It is our birth right. It is, often quite literally, in our blood. We know how to sober up and handle a drunk friend. They took advantage of our situation when we'd agreed for their help simply to transport our friend off of the beach. Eventually we got our friend out and, with our years of experience, cared for our drunk friend. I can safely say it was a birthday she won't forget despite the fact she can't actually remember a good portion of it.

The hypnotist act, Kev Bee at Genesis Bar, was certainly a highlight of the trip for me. We saw it twice: out of curiosity at first, then again to make one of our friends go up and get hypnotised. She went up as a non believer but somehow it seemed to work on even her. There were certain tricks/acts that left me a little concerned or uncomfortable due to their invasive sexual nature but the rest of it was fairly interesting, at least from a psychological point of view. It's not a show to take your kids to, this is something parents with children in the audience knew before having to leave part way through the show, but for typical Kavos-goers this will be a lot of fun.

The impression that I'm left with after my trip to Kavos is that it's a fun place for some, but not for me. It's great for students who want to drink, party, soak up sun and have a wild trip but you have to be prepared for a messy time. I think that crazy, care-free partying is something that I personally got out of my system earlier than most and therefore the Kavos party scene had no appeal to me. I had
plenty of great experiences: I ate swordfish for the first time, I made friends with a local band of stray cats and made wonderful memories with my friends. However this is a place where it's cheaper to get drunk than to stay hydrated. The town seems to come with a specific purpose for being there and, since we didn't match that, we felt somewhat juxtaposed at times. It would suit a student budget but it's not a place I' return to any time soon. I found myself avoiding the Kavos strip at all costs in favour of a day by the pool where I could read a book in the shade, have a beer with my friends and swim until my skin pruned and crinkled up. Though there are many things to do besides partying (like boat trips, beach days and socialising at the poolside) it does seem to be the main reason that most flock to this town. I enjoyed this trip mostly because I went with a wonderful group of women and we spent the trip laughing the day away, walking on the beaches and trying new restaurants together each night. I had a wonderful time in Kavos, of course I did, but I can assure you that I wouldn't have had a great time there if I had gone alone. Will I return to Kavos? No. I've been to other areas of Greece that I'd happily go to again because there was much more on offer than sex, drugs and booze. I suggest that if you do go, go with people that will really make the trip fun. That way, whatever the reasons for being there, it'll ensure you leave with wonderful holiday memories. I know I have some great memories and some insane, Hangover style photos. It's certainly a holiday I enjoyed despite the odds.

Or maybe I've been hypnotised to say this.

Personal: Travelling Home

This past week I've been on another little holiday.
No, not somewhere as sunny as Kavos.
I remained in the UK.

My partner treated me to a week in Lymington, a seaside town near Bournemouth, just for a spot of relaxation. Soon I'll post a quick review of the experience.
Today I will have spent a good deal of the day travelling and I'm really looking forward to sleeping in my own bed. I've managed to get a fair bit of writing and planning done and I feel pretty positive at the moment.
Anyways... Time for sleep.

Holiday Book Review: The Book of Human Skin and Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?: Confessions of a Gay Dad

Here I want to share a few of the books I read and enjoyed on my holiday. I packed almost eight books but didn't read through all of them as expected. I found myself really relaxing by swimming in the pool or snoozing in the shade. For all the books I didn't get around to reading I shall read and review them later. I'm currently working through Far Afield by Susanna Kaysen. I've also been flicking through Virginity: A Cultural History by Anke Bernau which has been an interesting read thus far. Whilst I was in Huddersfield for my university graduation I went into the discount bookstore and managed to buy eight new books so I'll have no shortage of reading material over the next few weeks. That said here are the two books I really enjoyed whilst on holiday:

The Book of Human Skin by Michelle Lovric is a wonderful slice of fiction. Set in Venice, surrounding the inhabitants of the glorious Palazzo Espagnol, the book focuses on the Fasan family. There is the devilishly dark Minguillo and his cherubic sister Marcella who threatens Minguillo and his right to his own inheritance after the passing of his father. Minguillo then makes it his personal mission to destroy his sister whilst seriously underestimated he goodness and how much she is loved by those around her. With multiple narrators and , this may not be what you'd consider 'light' holiday reading. Lovric appears to have done a good deal of research on various prevalent topics and themes within the novel which makes for an interesting read. If you're a fan of any Gothic Literature, the works and writing of Anne Rice or shows like Hannibal, Game of Thrones or The Borgias on HBO etc I would recommend this book for you. This dazzlingly dark novel will certainly prove an interesting reads as it turns one of the most beautiful cities in Europe into a much more grim place. The story is shocking and amusing in all the right measures. Don't read this book if you have a queasy/weak stomach.



Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight? Confessions Of A Gay Dad by Dan Bucatinsky was a little bit more light-hearted. In fact I devoured this book within 24 hours near the end of my holiday. This book is made up of little snippets and stories of Dan's journey into parenthood and some of the unique problems Dan and his partner Don have faced. The pages are full of candid and witty confessions of parental anxieties and personal transformations into parental roles.
This book had me chuckling away by the poolside.
Ultimately this is a book about love and about family. I highly recommend this to anyone, especially if you have children or are hoping to start a family soon. Having worked in TV, Bucatinsky knows exactly how to captivate and entertain an audience. This certainly is a must read for anyone within the LGBTQ community. I loved this book more than Pad Thai.

Holiday Packing

Are you going on a summer holiday/vacation later this year?
This summer there are going to be many people heading off on their first holiday away without their parents or any supervisors. This is an exciting time but it can also be stressful as you begin to plan things on your own for the first time.

For many there's the panic: Do I have everything I need for this holiday? Have I packed everything that I need?

Here is a basic idea of what to pack for your holiday before jetting off.




Clothes

• Going somewhere warm? Consider packing beach wear and lots of light clothing with a few thinner cardigans/shawls in case the evenings are cold
• Going somewhere cold? Make sure to bring layers to keep warm - include scarves and hats
• Don't forget underwear and socks. Let me tell you that's a holiday ruiner right there.
• Shoes - try to have a few different sets of shoes to suit your various needs. Maybe you'll want heels for a night out, flip flops for the beach, trainers for hiking etc.

Beach Holiday?

• Make sure to pack towels and swim wear. Also anything you or your family need to swim - goggles, floatation devices
• Sunglasses and consider a sun hat to shade your eyes and face
• Sun cream/sun tan lotion/burn lotion
• Hair ties - if you have long hair, a simple hair tie can keep hair out of your face when you swim and minimise tangles.
• Beach bag to carry your essentials
• A good book

Bathroom items:

• Deodorant
• Toothbrush & toothpaste
• Shampoo
• Face-wash
• Moisturiser
• Conditioner
• Shaving gel/razor
• Insect repellant/insect bite cream
• Body wash
• Perfume/cologne/body spray
• Any of your usual hair care/styling products
• Make up
• Sun tan lotion/burn lotion/heat cooling spray

Other good items?

• A camera to document your trip. 
• Currency for your destination
• Guide book if your destination is new to you
• A phrasebook or a list of good local phrases for the holiday
• Hairbrush 
• Passport - obviously.
  
• Phone and phone charger
• Your travel insurance/travel details.  A good thing to do is create a little folder of all the information that you need for the trip to stay organised. Perhaps even create a schedule of the trip to keep yourself on track.
• Plasters
• Travel adaptors to be able to use and charge your appliances
• A plastic bag or two to put dirty laundry into so you can clean the dirty clothes once you return home
• Paracetamol
• Hair dryer or straighteners

Kavos

Right now I should be boarding the plane to Kavos.
I've set up scheduled posts so that the blog will be updated as it normally is however instead of being at my computer regularly I'll be tucked away on a nice, sandy beach in Corfu.

If something goes wrong and there aren't daily posts coming out then tweet me - if I have WiFi at any point in the holiday I'll check Twitter and so on to make sure everything is OK. Remember: any posts over the next week and a half, unless stated otherwise, are automated.

Please feel free to leave comments on my articles, share links to my blog on social networking sites and boost my page views whilst I'm away. I look forward to coming back to a buzz of activity. See you in a week, dear readers!

Kavos

I've just been out doing chores in the garden. I came in as big, grumpy rain-clouds began to edge over the sky. Then I remembered next week I'll be in Kavos. 

Kavos is a town in the Greek island of Corfu. Whilst there I'll be soaking up as much sea, sand and sun as possible and taking some time to relax before my graduation ceremony the week after. I'll be heading off with some lovely ladies from university and we shall be letting our hair down to celebrate results and whatever lies ahead for us.

There's a lot to do before I head off. Over the next few days I'll be excited as I begin to pack and consider any last minute information ahead of the trip.

I'm really looking forward to this as it has been years since I went abroad. I remember when I went to Mykonos around 5 years ago. We arrived in the early hours of the morning as the sun was rising and all I wanted to do was get into my bikini and swim in the pool. The poolside was totally empty, reflecting the slight purple hue of the morning sky. Though Kavos is known as a heavy party town I'm hoping to do a lot of reading and relaxing during my visit.

Summer

The sun is out longer, the days are warmer and I've just paid off my summer holiday. I look forward to curling up by the pool and reading a book on my trip to Corfu with the girls. I'm looking forward to Slush Puppies in the sun, swimming in the ocean, long flowing dresses and working on my novel in the conservatory of my family home.

What are YOU looking forward to most about summer?