Wedding Traditions I'm NOT Following...

The concept of wedding traditions can be a little odd. We so often associate weddings with big white dresses, but white dresses did not come to be heavily associated with weddings until about 1840. Prior to that, you'd wear whatever colour or garments were accessible. We so often associate

weddings with tradition, but sometimes I feel like a lot of these traditions perpetuate the idea of having to spend additional money on your wedding and that simply doesn't work for me. So below, I'm going to discuss some of the wedding traditions that my partner and I will not be following for our wedding next year.

Hiring a fancy car for the journey to the venue

Firstly, this doesn't work for us on a personal level because we will both be going to the venue with our families to get ready there on the morning of our weddings. It seems the most stress-free option. No getting into traffic! No running late! Less of a chance of something splattering on your white dress on the way to the venue! The other reason I'm not particularly fussed about it is that, typically, none of your guests see you arrive in the car. You might utilise it for some pre-ceremony photos, but other than that it's almost a glorified taxi ride.

The Garter Hunt

I don't know about you, but I have a very sweet and very Christian Granny and the idea of my partner vanishing up my skirt in front of all our wedding guests just seems a bit much. I'm not certain Granny would appreciate the spectacle... Personally, I doubt I'd even wear a garter in the first place.

Concealed with a Veil

Apparently in Ancient Greek/Roman culture, bridal veils were worn as it was thought that the veil would protect brides from evil spirits. In other cultures, it works more in arranged marriages where the veil is lifted to allow the groom a proper look at the person they're marrying. For me, my partner has been looking at my ugly mug for almost eight years. I may wear a veil, but I don't see the need for one that covers my face. Also, I'm naturally quite clumsy and a veil covering my face will probably end up with me walking into something which would somewhat ruin my dramatic walk down the aisle.

Three Course Sit Down Meal

So, I've been to weddings with the three course sit down meal. It's very formal and definitely seems to be the 'done thing' at such events. However, I have two reasons why we won't be doing this at our wedding. The first reason is that it's quite expensive to do pre-meal nibbles and canapés AND a three course meal AND wedding cake AND an evening meal/buffet for the guests AND all the champagne/cocktails/drinks in between. For us, we're going to have the canapés in place of a starter and the wedding cake in place of a dessert. Suddenly, the main meal part will simply be a main meal. Catering can be one of the most expensive parts of the day, especially if you have big families or a lot of guests in attendance - suddenly you'll see costs rise substantially. My partner and I started to get sad thinking of how we'd have to cut our guest list down simply because the price of food was going to be so high. In the end, we decided to cut costs by altering the overall meal plan thus allowing us to have more guests - the more the merrier! In the evening, we're going to be getting some food trucks to come down so guests can simply pick out their own meals and it gives people some variety. 

YOU sit on the left, YOU sit on the right.

So it was once traditional that the families of the bride and groom would sit on opposite sides of the venue. However, it is becoming more and more popular to just allow people to sit where they want. Some people have bigger families and therefore more guests. There may be family rifts where it's best to keep space between people on your big day. I personally prefer the idea that people can sit where they want. It continues the laid back vibe we want for our wedding. It also joins the two families together. After all, isn't that the point of a wedding? 

Hiring a Wedding Planner

Some people have busy lives and want to make their nuptials as smooth and stress free as possible. For me, it's OUR day. It'll be OUR decisions. It makes sense to me that we're the ones calling the shots and orchestrating the event. We are doing a lot of DIY bits for our wedding. Why should the planning be any different? I can see why some people would want a wedding planner but personally I always like to feel in control. We've only got a few months to go and our little laid back wedding doesn't feel like a wedding planner is really needed. 

The Father Giving The Daughter Away

For some, this is a really sweet and traditional moment in the ceremony known as the father 'giving away' his daughter to the person they are marrying. I know this is one that some people really like but I don't enjoy the idea of being 'given' to anyone. My parents have known my fiancée for almost 8 years now and the notion of a patriarch handing me over seems odd. Instead, my partner and I will both walk down the aisle with both of our parents either side and our siblings walking down just before us. I prefer this because both of my parents should rightly be by my side in one of the biggest moments of my life. 

The Groom

I mean, just on a personal note, mine is a groomless wedding so there's that... (My bride-to-be told me to suggest this final point. Thanks, darling) 

There may be other things that I'm personally not going to be doing, but so far, these are the ones we've put aside at this stage of our planning. Please come back in the future as I blog my way through the wedding process in the run up to our July 2018 wedding. 

How To Plan A Wedding In 8 Months...

Some little girls grow up with a real plan of what they want for their wedding day. Me? Well, I've had some vague ideas, but I don't think it's something I've ever really obsessed over. I recall thinking when I was very young, wanting the dress Satine wears in Moulin Rouge. It has always been one of my favourite films and I love the detail in the bodice fabric.

Before I met my fiancee, if you had asked me what my plans would be for my wedding, I'd have probably told you that I wanted a black and white theme. I had even considered wearing a black wedding dress. I've bookmarked a castle in Scotland with plenty of Gothic touches. I wanted to get married in the emerald wallpapered library. I would probably have gotten married around October time in the autumn. I can imagine my bridesmaids in black dresses with my childhood favourite flowers: blue roses (more to come on my obsession with dyed blue roses later...)

But I grew up. I met the love of my life. I adapted. Planning a wedding is truly a marriage of the interests of both parties within the couple. My partner is sunshine personified. My love brings out the very best in me. So when planning this wedding, actually sitting down and putting ideas onto paper, I have realised that my ideas and plans have changed entirely to accommodate us both as a couple.

As you can see in my previous blog post, I got engaged last July in Milan on our 6 year anniversary. Since then we had a lot of discussions about what we wanted in a wedding. It's only recently that we've actually set a date and started to plan. We've set the date for the 23rd of July next year. It will be on our 8th anniversary since we started dating. We always wanted to get married on our anniversary and engaged on our anniversary. It all just seems so special. But here we are in December and, as my wedding app reminds me, I have a mere 230 days until my wedding and all I've done thus far is booked the venue....

Okay, so I've done a lot of planning. I think we've planned out all the major details so far apart from our dresses (honestly, I'm still hoping to find a dress like the Moulin Rouge gown) but that may take more time. Especially as our wedding involves two brides, therefore it will involve two dresses. (By the way, we hate constantly being asked 'so are you both going to wear dresses? Does one of you have to wear a suit? If you know any same sex couples getting married, don't ask it. Just don't)

So, 230 days to go. Roughly 7 months to get our ducks in a row. Originally, I didn't see much point in planning until we had booked a venue and secured our coveted 23rd of July anniversary wedding date. However, having booked our venue this weekend, the ball is well and truly rolling! Already I have seamstresses in wedding dress shops telling me to get a move on because apparently it takes months and months to perfectly alter a wedding dress. Who knew?

I used to do a lot of writing/blogging. I even wrote a book. My partner this evening lovingly suggested that I get back into writing blogs. What I've found recently, being a member of various wedding groups online, is that I quite enjoy the community aspect of it. We're all trying to put together our perfect day and other brides to be are often such a wonderful source of inspiration. I therefore thought it would be fun to write whilst I'm going through the wedding planning process. If I'm scrolling through and reading about weddings, someone may take enjoyment in my plans too. So over these next 230 days I'm going to try and write a little bit about my plans: wedding dress shopping, how we picked our venue, traditions we're going to reject, how to stick to a wedding budget. Hopefully some other clueless bride-to-be out there will find some comfort in this as I have done scrolling other blogs. So expect some more posts to come as I throw myself fully into a world of lace and cake tier decisions......