2013: The Resolutions.

A few of my friends have started to blog their resolutions for the next year so I figured I'd join in...but mainly since I started this blog this or maybe last year and am yet to do anything with it.

1) Do that work, like a boss. With only three months left of university I want to do as best I can on any assignments that still lie ahead including that mammoth dissertation of mine. At the moment whenever I close my eyes to sleep my dissertation is what I think of, usually having sudden surges of inspiration when what I desperately need is sleep. Thanks for that one, Brain.

2) Thank you, Kimberly Snyder. I spent a lot of my life hating my appearance, focusing hatred on little bits of it: my weight, the shape of my nose, my legs. The past year or so I've really tried to focus on my health: I've been swimming more, gone on more walks, even made radical changes to my diet. I hope that in 2013 I can continue my new pescetarian diet and continue to swim and, as soon as my leg has fully healed, go on more walks/hikes.

3) She works hard for the money. Once I graduate from The University of Huddersfield with my degree I want to move back down south and find a job - any job at first. I want to throw myself back into work so I can start earning money (which will be continued in the next resolution) and it'll give me something to do post-grad. The last thing I want to do is fall back into the habit of doing nothing. The job doesn't even have to be relative to what I want to pursue in my future career path.

4) Go to New Zealand. Last year I went through a really sad few weeks which ended with the death of a relative. I was filled with guilt because I had so often thought to myself 'Why not take the money I have saved away to visit my family in New Zealand?' I'd keep telling myself 'you have time, you'll make it there eventually' and now I'll never see her again. I figure now is as good a time as any to start planning the trip. I'll put the money from the last part of my student loan towards the flights and I'll be able to stay in central Wellington since that's where the family live. Now, with the recent release of The Hobbit, there are sure to be plenty of deals in the new year on trips/flights to New Zealand. I want to be nerdy - my relatives live a stones throw away from Peter Jackson's studio base so I plan to do any/all LOTR related tours on offer whilst also appreciating the indigenous and post-colonial aspects of the country and its culture. I've wanted to visit for so long now I'm even getting excited at the potential flight routes. Casual stop in San Francisco or Shanghai? Sounds good to me.

5) The Pen is Mightier than the Sword. By the end of 2013 I want to have a book, a script, a screenplay or whatever written, completed, ready for the next stage. This, to me, is just as big and as daunting as the dissertation. If I have a book published I can then look into getting it published. If I have a script I can start to consider the next stages in the production process.

6) Do more interesting things. I should take inspiration from the film 'Yes Man' and start throwing myself head first into new experiences and situations. Variety is the fruit of life and whatnot. I could go paintballing or take up painting or learn to dance ballet again. Who knows?

It's that sort of optimism, creativity and experimentation that I look forward to exploring in the New Year. Roll on 2013.

Lesbian relationships: fetishes, formality and fucking rudeness.

So I'm a little poor. It's cool - for a while we didn't have a place to live but now everything is sorted, we have somewhere, we're getting by. One thing that wasn't a necessity was internet so we didn't think ot get any when we moved our stuff into the new apartment (you know... because we had about £20 between us for food for an unknown amount of time) The guy upstairs bumped into us and said we could use his which was mighty generous. We were very thankful. I'd think he was a super awesome guy... if it weren't for the way he talks to Hannah and I. I mean this dude says some pretty fucking outrageous stuff. Like when I first met him we went to his apartment and had a cup of tea together and Hannah and I were talking about how I didn't really want Hannah to get piercings because I think her face is so classically beautiful I don't want it to change. He then immediately replied to Hannah 'Yeah and you know... to be fair she's the one that has to sit on your face, so...' and began to laugh.
 I. Was. Appalled. 
 First of all that's pretty forward for a first meeting with someone and you should probably be attempting to make a decent first impression. Second, you should NEVER assume that a couple have sex - some people/couples just don't and even if they do it's none of your business. Asexuality isn't discussed or taught as commonly as it should be but as someone who pretty much is asexual and with many asexual friends comments like this piss me off. It reminds those of us who simply don't care for sex that you're abnormal in the eyes of most people around you. You could have really hit a nerve there. It's private and in no way was it his business. I also feel that if we were a straight couple or two men he wouldn't have said that and it is because we are women that he feels he can get away with saying that. It isn't the first time I've had people pry into sexual aspects of my personal life. Growing up I've dated men and women. When I dated men no one EVER asked about what we got up to, if we got up to anything but whenever I've been with a woman (which I have for the past 5 years or so) people have felt it's OK to ask incredibly personal questions. The usual suspects? 'So what do you guys...do?' 'Which one of you is the guy?' 'Isn't that weird/gross?' 'Is it better with girls or guys?' etc. Do you want to know my usual answer? 'It's none of your damn business' Except for when they ask which one of us is 'the guy'... Well since we're both women in this relationship I guess, huh, neither of us?
It is the narrow minded view that every relationship, regardless of the people in it, has to have a 'guy' and a 'girl'. I won't go into the whole gender binary argument, any educated person will be well aware.

What I'm tired of is the feeling that it's OK to ask same sex couples increasingly personal questions. If they've previously stated they're OK with that, fine - they've allowed you to ask such questions. If not then what happens/doesn't happen in their bedroom (or their kitchen floor, or their desk at work or Disneyland or wherever they may like to get it on) is up to them. Now back to Mr Pervert Upstairs. I'm finding it increasingly difficult to tolerate his inappropriate speech/behaviour. it went from inappropriate comments to flirty messages. As soon as I log onto my laptop to check what's going on upon the interwebz in the morning there he is, popping up on my screen with 'Morning beautiful :)' which could be a compliment from a friend, but from him it makes me squirm. He constantly tells me that he thinks I'm pretty or cute but such comments leave me feeling uncomfortable rather than complimented. Sadly, though, I'm not the one he REALLY has eyes for. Yup. He really has a thing for Hannah. Now I am sure that if I were in a heterosexual relationship he wouldn't say this shit... But the other evening out of the blue he told Hannah: 'It's a shame. If you weren't all girls only you'd be my perfect woman' and kept hinting at how she was perfect for him, how he'd love to date her. How he's working out, losing weight, becoming more attractive and really making stupidly obvious hints. It seems upsetting as it is as if he doesn't accept her legitimately as a lesbian and that she is something he can 'turn'. Unfortunately this is a highly popularised opinion amongst some males.

There are more examples. If you could be a fly on the wall you'd understand how horribly uncomfortable it is. He patronises Hannah, belittles her for being a woman/being younger than he is/not having a job, any time Hannah and I disagree on something (which we tend to do in a jokey manner) is referred to as a 'domestic' as if to belittle our relationship. His badgering, his flirting, his bullying of MAH WOMAN is literally driving me mad. We're in the process of getting our own internet sorted so we won't have to rely on him/be gracious towards him for letting us use his internet. In conclusion I guess the point is I'm tired of people feeling that because people aren't in a heterosexual/heteronormative relationship that they can ask incredibly personal questions. Maybe, for lesbian relationships, people want to know because lesbians have been so highly fetishized that people (I hate to say, they're usually male) want to know all the sordid details. It's not for you to know and quite frankly that's what the internet is for. The guy within this rant just takes it to a whole new level. Apologies for the rant, I hadn't had a good bitch in a while and that one has been building up for about 3 weeks now.

Beers and smoothies – but not to drink.

Well you know what they say, right? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Or, more appropriately, beauty is in the eye of the BEER HOLDER.

An old pun a friend of mine used to tell, sure, but tonight I found myself quite literally living out this strange joke.I’ve recently found myself very much intrigued with health and beauty noting that the two terms can be interchangeable. For a while I’ve wanted to test the old theory that pouring flat beer onto your hair and washing it out after a few minutes (like a shampoo) leaves your hair with a nice, glossy shine. Obviously as a student I found no shortage of beer – in fact I’m sure it could make cleaning up after late night parties a lot more profitable (just think – the room is full of free beauty products. Frickin' ace.)

Since I’m notoriously good for forgetting I have a drink when all too engrossed in what’s on my laptop screen I had a spare beer that was more than ready for my little experiment.

That said I’ve also recently been following the work of clinical nutritionist Kimberly Snyder who advertises her Glowing Green Smoothie which I had been drinking religiously for a week or so now. It may look heinous and not taste wonderful but it’s already worked wonders for my skin and the thought hit me: if I have left over smoothie why not use it instead of throwing it away? (I’d put it on a compost heap or feed it so plants in a garden but I live in an apartment so I do what I can) I wondered to myself if, since the ingredients are all natural, would that also provide nutrition to my hair?
I decided to test both.
At the same time.

Guys.
At the time it seemed like a great idea.

Like one of those urban myths or tales that if you do something it'll have a really great outcome.
Nah....

Sure – if this were some actual scientific experiment I’m sure they would test them both individually to compare results and so on but I’m impatient, I had all the ingredients and my hair needed cleaning. First I put the leftover smoothie onto my hair and ran it from root to tip. I let it sit for a while, looking rather ridiculous with my hair full of organic pulp, and then rinsed it out. I continued showering and after a while moved onto the beer. Admittedly I think, in hindsight, that one is meant to apply the beer to dry hair but hey – what’s done is done and fun was had!
I poured it onto my wet hair and allowed it to settle.

The result?
After exiting the shower, towel on head, I found that there were still tiny bits of the smoothie in my hair – bits of celery no doubt. I also found that the beer had left a slight smell upon my hair though it was complemented by the fruity tones.
Success rating?
Although it left my hair with a nice sheen an additional wash was needed to get celery out of my hair. It was a long shot, and a little crazy, but there’s a first time for everything and I’m always up to try new things. It gave my hair some smoothness, a nice scent and gave me a new anecdote to discuss in the future.

The next day I was going out to an alternative night in Leeds and whilst crimping my hair all I could smell was burning celery.

Maybe next I’ll try with just the beer!

I hereby christen this blog....

I've decided to write a blog more based on, you know, me. Just me in general. I previously had a blog where I posted setlists when I was DJing for my online radio show or events. Please feel free to follow both and let me know what you'd like to see on here :) Otherwise it'll all be rambling, ranting, photos and other such fun. Anyways, to christen this post here's an orangutan looking fabulous